6 Tips for Staying Connected with Loved Ones in Memory Care

One of the more challenging aspects of aging can be an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and moving a spouse to memory care. As well as wanting the very best care and attention for them, you also want to stay as connected and engaged as possible. Here are some suggestions for how make your visit to a memory care community is a good one for you and your spouse or loved one.

1. Be positive

Focusing on the negative and what is “lost,” will most likely not help you and your spouse connect. Instead, do your best to wear a cheerful face and keep the conversation as light as possible. Talk about how good it is to see them and how well they look. For sure, do not focus on what they cannot remember. If they should forget a name or seem confused about what is happening, redirect them as gently as possible. Chances are they will repeat a question several times. Be patient and acknowledge their question as though it’s first time you’ve heard it.

2. Bring out a photo from their childhood and let them tell you about it

Studies have shown that reminiscing about the past can help slow cognitive decline and improve mood. It’s also a great way for your loved one to connect with their past and feel that you are engaging with them. If your husband was a star on a little league baseball team, ask him why he enjoyed it so much. If your mother was a master gardener, bring a gardening book and look through it with her, letting her stop and comment on the photos inside. Encourage your loved one to share stories with you from years ago.

3. Bring some music

Research has shown how the brain holds on to musical memories even in the midst of Alzheimer’s. Play your loved one’s favorite music and sing along with them. Let the grandkids join in. You might encourage everyone to get up and dance, even if it’s just swaying back and forth. Music and movement are both powerful medicine for residents of a memory care community, and a great way to put a smile on their face.

4. Be patient

Moving a spouse, parent, or loved one to memory care is certainly not an easy task. There will be good days and bad days for both of you, which it is so important to practice self-care. Remember that everything you do is done with love and concern for their health and well-being, and that they are dealing with a disease they cannot control. Should a visit become difficult, take time to catch a breath. Let the caring professionals of the memory care community support you and your loved one any way they can.

5. Establish a routine

Routine is very important when you are moving a relative to memory care. A daily routine helps a person relax and feel less anxious because they know what to expect, which is very important for anyone with dementia. Not only does this concern activities and events provided by staff in a memory care community, it can be the same for you as a visiting spouse or child. Work in conjunction with memory care staff so you can plan regular visits or video calls at a scheduled time and keep that schedule.

6. Make use of memory care technology

Many of today’s memory care communities offer communication tools that help residents express their thoughts, recapture memories, and engage with others. When moving a loved one to a memory care community, be sure to inquire what memory care technology resources are available. For example, it’s often possible to communicate with your love done via an online video chat or through a cell phone that has been adapted (calling is possible by pressing a large button or a button with your photo on it).

The best possible care and support for this unpredictable phase of life

Having patience, participating in activities with your loved one, and involving as many members of your family as possible can go a long way towards keeping you connected. And, knowing you have made a decision out of love and respect for your parent can make a huge difference as well. At The Carriages, we are here to help.