How to Talk to Your Parents About Senior Living: Helpful Tips

It’s been said that listening to one another is one of the sincerest acts of respect. When you are preparing to have the senior living conversation with your parents or older loved one, you want to listen, respect their viewpoint, and offer your support. Here are some tips that might help.

A successful senior living conversation: some suggestions for a good outcome

Plan ahead.

Talking to an older adult about moving to senior living isn’t something you want to do on the spur of the moment. Decisions this big take time. It’s smart to give some thought in advance to exactly what you are wanting to communicate, and how you think your parents might respond. You might even write out a few possible objections or concerns they might offer, as well as how you would react.

You don’t have to have all the answers, but it helps to have a clear idea of why you are having the senior living conversation before you ever begin one.

Pick a good time.

We all take in information better when we’re well-rested and in a comfortable environment. Decide what is a good time to hold Mom or Dad’s attention and have your talk then. It could be at their house, on a walk through a favorite park, or sitting on your patio. Anywhere they would feel safe, comfortable and at ease.

Write down what you want to cover.

There are many possible points to cover in a successful senior living conversation, and it can be easy to get side-tracked when having a life-changing discussion. Be prepared and organized by making a list of topics that should be covered. Again, there is no need to go into full detail about everything in the first talk, but it does help to mention what is on your mind. Chances are that your parent has already given the subject some thought and will appreciate your time and effort.

Keep it a conversation, not a lecture.

Roles switch a bit as we age, and parents look to their adult children more and more for support. It is always best to let them lead the conversation and still be the decision maker when possible, making sure to highlight the advantages and gains, and how a change will benefit them and give the entire family greater peace of mind. You’ll get much better results if you keep the conversation to a dialogue and resist the temptation to dominate.

Ask them what they want.

You might be surprised to find out your parents have already been thinking about the possibility of living in an environment of more support and less worry. Ask them what kind of lifestyle appeals to them, and how would they feel about knowing they could give up home maintenance and daily concerns. Give them time to answer.

Voice your concerns.

If you are truly worried that your parents are not living their best life in their home, then let them know that you are concerned. You aren’t trying to “handle” them for your convenience; you instead are thinking about their quality of life. Their safety. Their mental, emotional, and physical health.

Share any worries that are keeping you up at night, such as their limited social interaction, needing to still drive to take care of daily errands, trying to care for their home, or changes you’ve noted in their mobility or overall health. They will appreciate you coming from a place of love and concern.

Communicate with empathy. 

The discussion for needing a change can be even more difficult if your Mom or Dad is showing signs of cognitive decline. There are more safety risks and challenges involved when your loved one’s ability to make sound and reasonable decisions has changed. At times like this you will need to be creative in your conversation by listening closely to what they are telling you. Use their words to reassure and set the stage for positive communication, which can help to affirm the need for a move. The goal is to make sure your loved one is well-cared for and living in a safe environment, surrounded by those who know how to support their individualized needs. Don’t try to reach a decision in one talk.

Sometimes things must percolate a bit before we really know how we feel about it. Give your parents the opportunity to consider their options and let them know it’s an ongoing conversation. Ask them if they’d appreciate you including a trusted financial advisor, physician or estate attorney in an upcoming discussion. Maybe suggest visiting a senior living community so they can get a feel for life there.

Together, with patience, you can make the senior living conversation an invitation to a positive outcome for everyone concerned.

At Carriage Crossing, we understand everyone has different needs and preferences. We offer a wide range of senior services and work closely with you and your family to develop a personalized care plan that’s the right fit. As health needs change, our services adapt to meet them. So, you, or your loved ones, always enjoy the support and independence you deserve.

The age-in-place security you deserve. Contact us to learn more.